Is It Jealousy….?
For starters, everyone's situation is different, and I'm not telling you anything that would have your safety compromised mentally, emotionally, psychologically, or physically. But growing up even more recently, I've been hearing a lot about jealousy and envy lately. To me, jealousy is I wish I had that, and envy is I deserve that over them, and I'm gonna make sure that they no longer have it. Think of jealousy and envy as your least favorite cousins, where one is clearly worse than the other. I hear many people say that… but it seems; like they're just saying that, and it has no merit. Clear markers of jealousy and envy could be but are not limited to beauty, success, money, fame, adoration, attention, attraction, personality, and even happiness.
In some cases, it definitely could be jealousy and envy, but all the time? Idk about you, but every time someone says that someone is jealous of them incessantly, it's kind of a marker of someone with core character flaws that chalk them up to someone being envious of them when in reality they just need to do some would searching or…get a therapist. Everyone's situation is different, but from my experience, that’s what I see accusing people of being jealous to cover up poor character…yikes.
Real Life Real Strife!
Now let me add my ten cents with a bit of real-world application? Anecdotes of my own, if that person hurts you repeatedly, and the relationship beyond repair, leave. If you can do anything, just leave. Gone. For good. Plot your exit and execute it. Whether you wanna make noise about it or not, it's up to you. I'm not perfect, and I do own up to my mistakes, but simultaneously what can you do on your end when you've done everything. Does it sting a little bit? Of course, it's still fresh, but when people choose to blatantly disrespect you, chop at your self-esteem, dismiss you, make snide remarks, shit on your dreams, and desire to disrespect you like the default reactionary setting… what else can you possibly do? Nothing. The more I sat and marinated in why someone would treat me like that, the more I didn't want to acknowledge jealousy that was slowly transforming into envy. Even though I actively underestimate jealousy and don't really think anyone is jealous of me. When I say that, I mean “ I literally have nothing for anyone to possibly want…so why me ?". The way I was treated was could never be absolved, and I'm glad for the dissolution of our friendship, but at the same time, if I nipped it in the bud, it would have never gotten there. So if you genuinely feel that whatever relationship you are in isn't with the repair, please just leave. I'll reiterate this friendship more at another time; trust this isn't the last you'll hear about it. But if you feel in your gut you need to go because you aren't being treated how you deserve, then exit stage left..before the curtains close.
What If It Is Jealousy?
If your safety is at risk, please do what you feel you need to do to be safe…no contest. With that being said, if you don't feel or just know your safety isn't at risk, ask yourself, “ Can this relationship be salvaged?” If the answer is yes. Then I genuinely feel like you should have a conversation about it. Why not? If you’re on the receiving end of jealousy and you see value in having a relationship with the said party, then a conversation should be in order. In my not humble opinion, I don't think you should disregard/discard people when there is a minor inconvenience. Just because people are;t disposable doesn't mean you have to put up with BS @ all.* I know most people would rather croak than admit that they were wrong to let alone jealous; so if you know, they would never admit that it's better to just separate yourself. * What if you are on the projecting end of jealousy, which we've all been on probably, it would help to identify why you feel that way, and then through doing that, you'll probably see that that person wasn't the problem. It's effortless to turn jealousy into inspiration…if you didn't do that, I would suggest professional help, lol.
Envy She’s Different.
When people start to show the signs of envy and intense envy, it's time to exit stage left and disappear with no trace. Envy manifests in people socially, economically, or physically going out of their own way to make sure you don’t surpass them. That’s when shit gets real, and no one has the energy to debate with a wild card. When people start resorting to saying wild out-of-pocket comments, slick comments, start discouraging you, speaking fear into your plans, or even going as far as using witchcraft to hinder you, which is something that I've dealt with for years. If you're reading this, I know it's you :), then you just have to go. Disappear into a fine mist, smoke, air pick an element you just have to leave…immediately. I feel if you trust your intuition, you'll know who as well as when to go.
Thank you for reading part one of my Jealousy series installment. Hope you enjoyed it.