Dangerously In Love…With Myself!
An advice guide helps you navigate self-love and acceptance a little better when it comes to your specific self-love journey. Set to my favorite title tracks of Beyonce’s first solo debut album, Dangerously In Love* which is my favorite album of hers * I wanted to come up with a refreshing and creative way to express in terms of helping anyone with their self-esteem, especially in these tumultuous times. I hope you guys enjoy xxHoodSpice💗.
Me, Myself, and I……and That’s Ok.
In a world that bombards us with pictures, images, literal sub-conscious programming we all become victim to it at some point. Society tells us that we need to be in a relationship, we need to be with someone for the sake of being with them. Even in quarantine more than ever are people forced to face their own thoughts and face loneliness head-on. For those of us that are single being single should not be a chore. I had returned home during quarantine and I read my journal from when I? was 16 and it just saddened me that I didn’t feel that I was really worth anything because everyone around me was in my immediate circle was in a relationship. I said all of this to say is that we cannot forget to return to home to ourselves and re-evaluate why it is we feel the way that we do. Even though I don’t struggle with being by myself as I did When I was sixteen years old remember to ask yourself these questions. Am I feeling this way because it is what I want? or Am I feeling this way due to external forces independent of myself? Ask yourself these questions and really get to the bottom of why you feel the way that you feel, and remember whether or not you are single by choice it is ok to be by yourself because at the end that is all you’ll have anyway.
Crazy in Love…With Myself!
Got me looking so crazy in love, got me looking, got me looking so crazy in love……with myself. What did you like to do as a child, paint, draw, read, play video games, look at yourself in the mirror, whatever it is, do that? Especially now that we are in quarantine and have unlimited time to invest in hobbies or self-improvement, think to yourself, what would you love to do even if you didn’t get paid for it? do-something that brings you genuine joy. \As a kid, I feel like I partly grew up in front of the television, so I was always very into the zeitgeist of pop culture as well as animation. So I would read manga by the boatload and absorb the media like a sponge, especially MTV, BET, VH1, Disney Channel, Nickelodeon, and Cartoon Network. I’ve always been into things of that sort. So as of recently, I have recently delved back into those things which have surprisingly become popular on Tumblr. Looking through different archived fashion looks, makeup looks, magazine editorials, advertisement, and animation stills and gifs brings me the same joy I had when I was doing those things as a child. Getting back to the interests that make you you is only half the battle.
The other half consists of treating yourself with the love, care, and attentiveness that you treat others with. This easier said than done. You don’t wake up one day as the person you wanted to be; Rome wasn’t built in a day, and neither was Beyoncé. Becoming who you want to be is a very fragile and time-consuming process but is worth the wait. When I say love yourself, I mean physically, mentally, emotionally, and psychologically. Physically loving yourself is just making you are your absolute best by eating well for your body and not eating honeybuns every day. Just make sure you treat your body well because it will eventually treat you well back when you do so. You can take care of yourself mentally honestly by reading books. At my significant age of 22, I’m still trying to learn how to do it because my attention span really isn’t that long, but reading not only enriches your mind but also helps you with your writing skills whether you realize it not; as well as lengthening your lexicon. Take care of yourself emotionally by journaling. I personally do this; it’s very cathartic and aids in not feeling so frustrated when you can see the words in real-time, pen to paper. You can also take care of yourself by setting boundaries and not giving more than you have or can personally handle. Last but not least, what you can do to help your psyche…is get a therapist on; the amount of progress I have made over the past couple of months is thanks to my therapist. Every psychological trigger, childhood issues, family trauma, or emotional trauma can-be sorted out in therapy, which I highly recommend.
Babyboy……..or Babygirl Stop Trippin!
I’m young so I’m not going to lie and tell you I’ve never tripped over someone that I liked that didn’t work out or go in my favor, who hasn’t. All I have to say about that is please do not trip over that. It literally doesn’t matter they probably don’t care, and I know that’s a hard pill to swallow, but the only way you're going to stop trippin over people who don’t reciprocate is to put that energy into something that you can see a return in. A la invest your time back into yourself. Put your blinders on and use your laser focus to just focus on what you want for yourself whether it’s a nice body, having good grades, getting into a specific program make sure the energy that you put into that person you put into yourself. This not only goes for relationships and casual dating if that’s what you choose to engage in this goes for opportunities, mistakes, embarrassments, and comparisons. I can guarantee there is no reason for you to be so anxious about something that you start to unravel from the inside out. I’m not saying if you're in a dire situation to act casual, absolutely not but if your problem is very much first world and we all know if it is that there is no reason to be driving ourselves up the wall for no reason. Because at the end of the day what is Trippin and freaking out gonna do for us anyways but further freak us out and amplify every issue or feeling of disgust that we have… and who wants to deal with that certainly not I.
Speechless…….Never That, But Definitely a Mouthful.
This part is my favorite because when you can start practicing saying the word “No” and drawing boundaries when necessary, you feel comfortable. I’m pretty sure we’ve all been in a situation where a friend is hanging out with someone we aren’t personally the biggest fan of at all, and they want us to join. If it’s something you don’t want to do, then don’t do it at all. Every-time you let someone cross a boundary without saying anything, you betray yourself, and who wants to live with the feelings of self-betrayal along with the embarrassment that comes with it… good guess no one does. This not only goes for situations with friends; this also extends to the family that 90% of the time benefits from us having no boundaries. These boundaries need to be used 360 degrees 365 days a year because I used to be in a friendship that benefits from me having absolutely no boundaries at all. We all need to individually normalize speaking up when we feel uncomfortable exceptions are when we are in a life-threatening/ dire situation that requires complicity or silence to get out of it. Please read the room.
Signs..and How Not To Ignore Them& No We’re Not Talking Zodiac!
Yes, we’re reading signs, taking hints, and walking around here clueless. “As if !” No, but seriously, we note all signs, positive and negative, but emphasize the negative signs. If you have a friend who pops up every six months because there is some self-induced mental break and can go another six months without talking to you, cut them off. If people want you around for convenience, cut them off. If someone purposefully isn’t mutually reciprocating the energy that you're putting out, let them be. My friend once told me, “ If that person makes you question your sanity,.they have to go,” and she was right. Trust me, I used to ignore all the signs and play stupid, and in the end, looking every bit of that six-letter word….stupid.If you feel your effort isn’t being reciprocated in platonic or not platonic settings, it is your duty to choose right for yourself and do better. For example, if you feel like you’re always tired after hanging out with someone, like they are taking from your energy, spirit, sense of self, etc. You need to make the right choice and leave immediately. I feel like everyone believes they can make someone change or convince them to change because they’re “different,” and when I tell you that’s not that case, it isn’t the case. They have to want to do better on their own, and that’ll most likely happen after you’ve left that toxic situation.
Quick Summary
1.Me, Myself and I: It’s ok to be by yourself; there is nothing wrong with you.
2.Crazy In Love With Myself: Get back to what makes you you, and what you enjoy, what would 11year old you want to do for a day and do that.
3.Babyboy or Babygirl Stop Trippin: Trippin over a situation will further amplify it, so don’t.
4. Speechless, Definitely A Mouthful: Draw boundaries immediately when necessary.
5. Signs and We’re Not Talking Zodiac: Recognize the signs and if they don’t benefit you, leave immediately without notice.